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convertsOne of the great schisms in Judaism today is what “rules” we follow to define or identify who is Jewish. This may come as a surprise, but this is actually nothing new. We have been trying to keep people out of the tribe for as long as we stopped actively trying to bring people into the tribe.

When and why did such an enormous ideological change happen?

About 2,000 years ago, under the Roman empire and then the early Christian empire, where conversion to Judaism became a crime punishable by death. Up until then, we have evidence that conversion to Judaism was widespread and indeed very simple to do. No one in the Jewish community was trying to make it “difficult” for a person to self-identify as Jewish.

But let me start this story from a different angle: This post is meant to be a passionate argument in favor of a simple idea: Any person who has ONE Jewish parent (mother or father … doesn’t matter which), and who chooses to identify Jewishly, has a right to call himself or herself a Jew. The notion that a person can inherit Judaism through either matrilineal or patrilineal descent is known as bilineal descent, as in the Latin root bi = two.

Organized Jewish movements have different official opinions on this matter. Orthodox groups (and there are many different types of orthodoxy) maintain the post-Roman idea that Jewishness only happens through the mother. The Conservative movement also supports only matrilineal descent. Mixed-marriage families who belong to their movement must give their children an official conversion, in the mikveh, if it is the father, and not the mother, who is Jewish.

On the other side of the debate are the Reform, Reconstructionist and Renewal movements: All three recognize patrilineal descent, and hence, are in support of bilineal descent.

What do you believe?

Here is the logic I offer to people I meet, who are trying to sort this out. And as you enter the realm of this debate, I have just one request: It doesn’t matter “how you were raised” — what movement you attended as a child, or what the official position of your current movement is. I would like to ask you to think for yourself and make your own decision.

The oldest historical way of identifying Jewishly was through the father. Just look in the Torah. Who is Jewish? Moses is Jewish, but his wife is not. Would anyone say Moses’ grandchildren weren’t Jewish? Of course not. What a crazy thought! What about King David? According to Jewish tradition, one of his descendants will be the messiah — not a descendant of his wife. Would anyone today say HIS children aren’t Jewish? Of course not! So, why then, would we say that the child of a Jewish man living today is not Jewish, if that person is choosing to identify Jewishly.

The question of whether we wish to honor patrilineal descent boils down to a simple question: What do you think should determine Jewish identity — Jewish law (halacha) or Jewish history?

Which, do you believe, carries more weight?

A halachic Jew, in essence, the orthodox and Conservative movements, would argue the former. I would argue the latter.

Halachic Judaism — the legalistic Judaism that came up with kazillions of rules such as the Jewish dietary laws and the prohibition of driving a car on Shabbat — was one of many Jewish manifestations that have evolved over the millenia. For a variety of reasons, many of them flukes, this just happens to be the strain of Judaism that those of us living today descended from.
But we have evidence that there have been many MANY different expressions of Judaism around the world and over the ages, and in most of those examples, Jews were not living obsessively focused on the debate and creation of arbitrary rules.

Orthodox Jews like to believe that the more you study halacha, the more “observant” you become. For me, education has had the opposite effect. The more I have studied and learned about halacha, the arbitrariness of its logic, the less weight I am able to give it intellectually. And, therefore, the less impact it has on any of my personal practices. Becoming learned in halacha has made me LESS halachic, not MORE.

jewHistorically speaking, the shift from patrilineal to matrilineal descent happened around the year zero — in the Second Temple period, the time period when Jesus was living. The Romans were in power and they identified their own citizenry based on the identity of the mother, not the father. At that time period, we see a shift in how Jews began calculating their own people too. Then, when the Roman empire converted, en masse, from paganism to Christianity in 325 CE (by an official edict of the people in power), conversion to Judaism became a crime punishable by death. Suddenly, we Jews had a vested interest in NOT letting people willy-nilly join our tribe. Prior to that, we have evidence that Greek pagans were frequently converting to Judaism, and that we were even a proselytizing religion.

Here is a staggering thought that one of my professors of Jewish history once said: There are more non-Jews walking on the Earth today who have a Jewish ancestor in their past than there are Jews. Take a moment and think about that.

SO many Jews have been lost to history due to the pressures of assimilation and forced conversion that today’s world Jewish population of 13.3 million is a mere fragment of what it could have been, had circumstances in our past been different.

Jewish population growth worldwide is close to 0 percent. From 2000 to 2001, it rose 0.3%, compared to worldwide population growth of 1.4%. (An aside: About 37% of worldwide Jewry lives in Israel.)
There are so few of us in this tiny tribe.

What I don’t understand is why in the world any of us would be trying to make our tent smaller rather than larger?

You have a Jewish parent and you want to come break challah with me at the oneg after Shabbat services? I have just two words for that: Welcome, friend.


Magohany bimah with sand flooringWith only one synagogue operating in the Caribbean, it’s easy to imagine why a Jewish destination wedding to the Caribbean gets quickly cut off the list.

I’m here to tell you it doesn’t have to be this way. In fact, destination Jewish or interfaith weddings can offer fabulous, unique, never-to-forget events at prices you can’t begin to approximate in the U.S.

You do, however, need to start curacao mapthinking creatively.

In exploring the question “Can you can a Jewish wedding in the Caribbean?” I will also share with you what happened to me, when I tried to plan such a wedding.

With a little research, you will learn that the only functioning synagogue in the Caribbean is on the island of Curacao. The congregation, called Mikvé Israel, dates from the 1650s, and was founded by Spanish and Portuguese Jews from the Netherlands and Brazil. In the 19th century, there was a breakaway Reform community (Emanu El); the two merged to form the present community in 1964.

curacoThe synagogue (pictured at the top of the post) is built in the Sephardic style, which means it has 360-degree seating with the bima in the center, from where the rabbi or hazzan recites the prayers. The best part is, the synagogue’s floors are made up entirely of sand. Imagine – what a photographer’s delight! As you can see in the picture above, some of the main ”cities” in Curacuao look like a quaint, beautiful seaside villages.

Jewish Pirates of the CaribbeanFor you history buffs out there, you might love reading Jewish Pirates of the Caribbean; Curacao made an appearance, as did many other of my favorite Caribbean haunts!

But back to your wedding: Here’s the problem. Actually, there are a lot of problems … The synagogue hires a cantor, and when I asked for more information, they sent me a list of “rules” that looked like they had been copied straight from the Middle Ages.

1. For starters, no intermarriages. That’s right, if you are one of 60% of American Jews marrying outside the tribe, you are a second-class citizen who can’t use their building.

2. The cost to rent the facility and hire their cantor is $2,500. That is perfectly fair. Maintaining such an exquisite building in such a hot climate has got to be expensive, and the community surely relies on the infusion of off-shore funds to keep the place running. But what upset me is that we didn’t need their officiant. As a rabbinical student, I had a whole cadre of rabbis and would-be rabbis on my guest list. I wanted to work with a rabbi whom I have a close bond with, and who would frame things and say things in the way that I would want them said.

They were okay with that — but they were still going to charge the $2,500! Their fee was their fee, no matter how much or little we asked them to do.

star of david3. Then, number 3, they require couples  to exchange wedding rings that are solid gold bands. The rings, they said, can’t have any jewels or stones of any kind, or any engraving on them.

For my partner and me, that rule ended the discussion right there. We didn’t have rings with stones; but we did resent some synagogue committee intruding its opinions on our fingers and telling us what we could and couldn’t wear on them! Any Why exactly is it their business?

I have nothing against a solid gold band. But with so many beautiful rings out there now, why would anyone want to limit themselves to that?

Yes, it is a Jewish wedding tradition to exchange rings that are not “broken up” by stones. The idea is that a couple’s love is continuous, and a solid band symbolizes that. It’s a lovely tradition, and it is also just that: a tradition. There are good 100 other Jewish wedding traditions and most couples do not choose to follow all of them, either. Talk about arbitrary.

4. Then there was the issue of dress. The Curacao shul requires that all women have their shoulders covered in the interest of tsniut = modesty. Meanwhile, all the men have to wear formal attire. Yes, you read that right: Ties and SUITS … in a tropicial paradise whose humidity level probably tops 110!

What is the value we are communicating here? It seems to me the value they are communicating is this: ”We wish to convey a certain sense of decorum in our holy space. We define ‘decorum’ using the standards that the occupying white culture imposed on native island people 400 years ago. We don’t define ‘decorum’ based on contemporary values of gender equality, or based on the environmental/temperature realities of where we are standing today.”

Let me just say it: That is annoy annoy annoy annoying.

I offered what I thought was fair middle ground. How about I arrange a tour of the synagogue earlier in the day, as an “outing” for my guests, for which their building and cantor would recieve a fee? We would do the ceremony the way we wanted, with the officiant and the sentiments we desired, overlooking the ocean, in the clothes we felt were climactically appropriate, over at a hotel?

That was fine they said. But it would still cost $2,500. And they wouldn’t help us coordinate with the hotel.

All things considered, we concluded that getting married in the only functioning synagogue in the Caribbean just wasn’t meant to be. If these restrictions don’t bother you, Curacao might be a perfectly great option for you.

If, however, you want more ritual freedom, there are plenty of other ideas you might consider:

Looking Beyond Curacao

curaco marriot resort1. First off, Curacao is still a beautiful place and judging from this picture I found from the Marriott Resort in Curacao, their hotel knows how to build a chuppah for a Jewish wedding! Hire a rabbi and bring him/her with you, and hold your wedding at the Marriott hotel. Your guests can choose to tour the synagogue as one of many excursions they have to choose from on the island.

2. Curacao isn’t the only island with great beaches. And really, the only two things you need to make a wedding “Jewish” is a Jewish officiant, and a chuppah. You can bring the officiant with you, and small, lightweight handheld chuppahs can be made for under $200. (Email me; I can help you figure out how.)

My fiance and I briefly entertained a wedding in Jamaica. I have several friends who married there, and the island’s hotels are great at putting together package vacations. Their beaches are amazing, and the temperature of the ocean feels like bath water! They also offer resorts that cater to families with small children who are not yet potty-trained — a big issue for any guests you may have coming who have very young kids. (Look at Beaches and FDR resorts for starters).

Ritz_Dove_Mountain in TucsonAnother idea I wish we had thought was one a little closer to home: the Ritz Carlton in Tucson. I recently officiated an exquisite wedding there replete with hiking, majestic views and 5-star vegetarian fare all rolled into one.

Whatever “destination” you consider for your “destination wedding,” most hotels offer wedding packages with discounted room rates for their guests (which you don’t have to pay for). Many resorts outside the U.S. offer all-you-can-eat buffets for meals.

For another $1,000 bucks or so, resorts also provide photographers, videographers, and even a cake. I wish I could get married over and over again, just to have reasons to go to beautiful places like Turks & Caicos, the Bahamas, and a diver’s paradise, Bonaire!

ritz_carlton_dove_mountain_marana_arizona-mainResorts that offer wedding packages always include a local minister or pastor to officate the ceremony itself. There are, no doubt, great officiants out there, but if you are looking for something Jewish, or something theistically unconventional (such as –secular or nontheistic), you probably need to bring an officiant with you.

For a few nights stay at the hotel, a daily honorarium and a plane ticket, you can find a rabbi or rabbi-in-training who would be happy for the opportunity to enjoy a taste of paradise along with you! Even with this added cost of bringing your own officiant, you will still save considerably less money by having a destination wedding than you would hosting a wedding on your home turf.

Congratulations on your engagement — and if you had a destination wedding of your own, write me here, in the Comment field, and let me know how it went!


chuppah2As a wedding officiant, one of the first questions couples ask me is where they can find a chuppah — the wedding canopy that is used traditionally in Jewish weddings.

Chuppahs remain a popular element of Jewish weddings, including interfaith weddings, and for very good reasons.

For starters, they are beautiful! They create a picturesque “frame” around the couple and carve out a visual space for the ritual events to unfold.

Secondly, the meaning of a chuppah works in so many different types of weddings. Although it is clearly a Jewish tradition, there is nothing Jewishly “exclusive” about it — meaning, it works perfectly well for Christians too.

The idea of a chuppah is that you are symbolically creating the new home that the couple is making together. Like a home, it has a cover, to provide shelter, but unlike a home, it is open on all sides. This symbolizes the idea that all couples need the help, love and support of the people around them; by keeping the walls open, they are inviting all of this love inside.

You may have noticed that there is nothing theistic about anything I have just said. The majority of weddings I officiate are for couples where at least one person self-identifies as an agnostic, atheist or secular humanist — and chuppahs work perfectly with these kinds of ideologies too! Inviting in the love of friends and family into your new home has nothing to do with an omnipotent being.

How To Find a Chuppah: The Nuts and Bolts

All of that said, allow me to return to my previous point, which is the literal question: Where do I find a chuppah? Here is some advice that I have culled from couples whom I have married:

1) Start with your wedding venue. They may have chuppahs they can rent you, or they may have an “arch”-type piece of decoration worked into their grounds, which you can use as a symbolic chuppah.

2) Next stop is a florist. Many florists also rent chuppahs. If you have a florist and they don’t offer chuppahs, move to point 3.

3) Third stop is looking for vendors who are strictly in the business of renting chuppahs. Keep in mind, the closer the vendor is located to the location of your wedding, the better the price they can offer. Travel time is often the biggest time drain for every person you are hiring to do your wedding! You will also pay more on a Saturday in May, when folks in the wedding business are booked out to the hilt, than you will on a Thursday in December.

4) Last idea: For those crafty inclined — or for those on a budget — or both, buy a chuppah starter kit (about $125 from one website I like, called www.galleryjudaica.com) and get handy. These kits will give you the basics of what you need, and you will usually need to figure out the polls.

I officiated a wedding for a couple who chose Organza Chuppah Silver for $125, free ground shipping, from Gallery Judaica. They invested a fair amount of time making polls with matching fabric and gold ribbon hanging off the end; I loved it!

Another couple I married went the super-simple route and just bought four matching poles and then tied a tallis (prayer shawl) over the top. The tallis they used was an old one, which had been passed down in the family. Here is a picture of how theirs came out. As you can see, it’s gorgeous! You don’t have to spend a lot of money to have a chuppah, especially if you are willing to work with the type you hold.

0363_Alanah_Scott_2012_05_27 - handheld chuppah 2Below I have listed a few vendors that have been recommended to me personally, and at prices that strike me as reasonable. Keep in mind, you can pay upwards of $1,000 for a chuppah, depending on how fancy you want to get.

** Philly Event Rental (http://phillyeventrental.com/) offered a price quote of $450, with an additional $50 for lights. Their warehouse is located in the NE Philly / Port Richmond area. “We were very happy with how it turned out.”

* A florist in South Philly, Baileflor, recently offered a price of $350, which included draping, flowers and hanging crystals. But she was also being paid separately for larger floral work at the ceremony, so it’s not a straight comparison in the price department. “She can also customize depending on your budget,” my source told me, and the couple “seems to be very pleased with her thus far.”

Her contact info is below:
Leah Reinhard Albarouki
baileflor
www.baileflor.com
484.557.8010

Of course the best place to go these days to just scope out ideas is Pinterest. There, chuppah3you will find thousands of pictures of chuppahs that people have uploaded to the site, such as the gorgeous chuppah posted here.

Have you rented a chuppah in the Philly area and liked the service you received? If so, please email me the name of the provider, the price you paid, and whatever other details are helpful to know, and I will add them to this list!


Why am I a Jew?

What does it mean?

Is a Jew who converts to Christianity still a Jew?

Is a Jew who gets dunked in a mikveh that isn’t properly heckshered — are they a Jew?

Is a Jew who really likes hummus still a Jew? Does it have to be Sabra, or is it sacrilege to like saving a shekel and going for the Trader Joe’s brand, which is clearly inferior from a gastronimic perspective? Or does buying the Trader Joe’s brand provide just further proof of just how Jewish you are?

I only know the answer to last of these vexing questions, and the answer, apparently, is No: a hummus-loving Jew mustn’t really be Jewish. They must really be a Muslim.

Oh, I don’t know who came up with this flowchart, but thank you for giving me a hearty laugh over my Froot Loops this morning.


The Jewish New Year is upon us, making the time ripe for a wistful reflection on all those beautiful, stunning, heart-felt vow exchanges I had the pleasure of officiating and witnessing this past year in metropolitan Philly.

Do you have wedding coming ahead in the 2013 / 5773 Jewish calendar year? If so, here are a few of my Favorites, for all things related to weddings. By the way, none of these places or businesses are giving me any “kick backs” for endorseing them — they are, quite simply, my favorite sites and sounds for weddings in Phildelphia!

Drop me a line at Joysa@aol.com if you’d like information on hiring me to be your officiant. You might find other helpful wedding-planning info at links at the bottom of this post.

#1: Best Philly Wedding Venue: Sweet Water Farms in Glen Mills takes the cake as most elgant. sophististicated, and yet tuned-into-nature venue of anywhere in Metro philly.

The former summer home of the infamous Grace Kelly, Sweet Water farm today acts as a winery, a small-scale B&B, and a rustic venue replete with an old-timey wooden water well, a two-story farm house decked out in twinkly white lights, and folling views overlooking horses, wild flowers, and a heated pool and jazuzzi.

The 50–acre historic estate features 14 guest rooms: three in the original 1734 Quaker farmhouse wing and four in the 1815 Georgian wing.  The original carriage house, greenhouse and caretaker’s cottage have all been transformed into seven guest cottages, five of which are pet– and child–friendly.

Other amenities for a perfect getaway are a swimming pool, outdoor hot tub, golf chipping range, nine-hole disc golf course, private massage room, fitness room, walking trail and a friendly family of horses, sheep and goats.

Check out their online photo gallery here, to get a complete picture of this beautiful property!: http://sweetwaterfarmbb.gracewinery.com/property/property.php

#2 Best Wedding Dress Shopping Online: BHLDN.

When it comes to shopping for that perfect wedding dress, you can’t do better than BHLDN. Their beautiful, flowing — and most impotant of all — UNIQUE gowns flatter every body size and can work with nearly every budget.

When it comes to wedding dresses, BHLDN has captured my soul. This Kauai wedding dress costs only $800 and is probably one of the most unique, imaginative dress I’ve ever imagined walking down the aisle.

While the form flows free, elegant details like intricate embroidery, an asymmetrical hem, and a slender braided neck ribbon with crystal button closure ensure this dress is anything but ordinary. Can’t you just picture it on a seashore wedding, walking barefoot in the sand?

This Lita Gown (below right) sells for a bit pricier at $2400. But it is made of pearly beads that trim the edges of a gauzy, attached coverlet above a sleek dress of luminous silk charmeuse. Though not pictured here, a thin, self-tie string of silk at the nape of the neck ensures sleeves won’t slip off of shoulders.

The gown has underwire and bust cups, silk tulle and silk charmeuse shell, as well as a silk charmeuse lining.

*****

The company sells all sorts of other keepsakes useful for a wedding. For example, check out these beautiful, antique-looking gifts for the bridal party, as well as picture holders that could be used to decorate tables in a reception room.

This beautifully articulated, a shining scallop opens to reveal a single pearl to hold the wedding bands. Handmade from silver, nickel-plated brass and peal, they measure 1.5”H, 2.75”W, 2.75”L.

More decors can be viewed here: www.bhldn.com/the-shop-decor-keepsakes/.

For more on Jewish weddings, please see some of my other posts:

Planning a Jewish funeral is one of the hardest things for families to do.

No matter how “expected” the death was – and all the more so when it wasn’t expected – a death leaves everyone in the family reeling with grief, and overwhelmed by all of the logistical choices that need to come next.

• How do you find a funeral home and a funeral officiant who can provide the right kind of Jewish funeral service (for your family?)
• How much time do you have to get everything done?
• What does the funeral-planning process look like?

I work with many unaffiliated Jewish families. Some are interfaith; others come from a strong atheist or Secular Humanist orientation. I will strive, in this blog article, to answer some of the most common questions I encounter working with these families.

Step One: Contact A Funeral Home
Your first task is finding a funeral home who will handle your loved one’s remains. Philadelphia has three Jewish funeral homes. I have worked with all three of them, and believe they all have solid reputations:

Goldstein’s Funeral Home
6410 North Broad St.
Philadelphia PA 19126
215-927-5800

Joseph Levine & Sons Inc.
Trevose, PA 19053
215-942-4700

West Laurel Hill Cemetery and Bringhurt Funeral Home
225 Belmont Ave.
Bala Cynwyd, PA 19004
610-664-1591

West Laurel is the newest company to join the Jewish funeral service profession. Last year, they designated a new Jewish area to their beautiful historic cemetery overlooking the Delaware River.

West Laurel is right off I-76, and hence is very close to Center City and the Mainline. West Laurel is also unique in that they offer full cremation services on site, and they inter cremated remains in the Jewish part of their cemetery.

What does the funeral home do? They will help you determine:
1) How you want your loved one’s remains handled.
2) The date and advertising of the burial and memorial service.
3) The date and advertising of any shiva minyas following the burial.
4) Refer you to a local rabbi or officiant who can provide the religious aspects of the service.

Take a Deep Breath
One factor that makes Jewish funeral planning so stressful is that there has been a long-standing tradition that bodies are buried within 24 hours after death. Given how far-flung people’s families are, trying to make such arrangements on such a tight schedule often creates a great deal of hardship—not to mention expense.

My advice, as someone who has worked with many families in this tough situation, is to be kind to yourself. Don’t make yourself miserable with the punctilious following of ancient rules.

Should the burial of body or cremains happen with the first week after death? Yes, definitely. If it can happen without too much pain in the first few days after death – great, even better. But please, don’t add to the heartache of your family by taking on herculean efforts to accommodate this kind of rapid-fire schedule. Also, don’t plunge family members into debt because they had to go out and pay $1,000 for a rush-rate plane ticket.

Think about what works for you. Keep your mind open.

Step Two: Discuss the Pros and Cons of Burial vs. Cremation 
Unless your loved one has left explicit directions on what she wants done with her remains, your family is left to make this difficult choice.

“Wait a minute!” You might be saying. “I thought Jews don’t cremate their dead!!?”

Well … that’s only partially true.

It is true that in the Torah (in the biblical era, circa 500 BCE) Jews favored burial. It’s worth pointing out, however, that they were living in an arid desert, so what other options did they really have? – The answer is, not many.

At later points in Jewish history, we have evidence that different communities handled their dead in different ways. Here are just a few examples:

• During the Second Temple period (c 35 CE), the dead were left exposed in underground caves. Once their bones disintegrated, they were ground up and put into ossuary containers.

• In the Mishnaic times (c 300 CE), in northwest Israel, bodies were left in above-ground tombs, in catabombs filled with tombs. Many famous authors of the Mishna were buried in this fashion.

• In Great Britain in the late 1800s, the Reform movement officially began permitting cremation, in part in response to the shortage of land available for burial on their landlocked island.

It’s the secret no one talks about, but did you know that 40 percent of Jews in metro Philadelphia are being cremated upon death – not buried!? The reasons are numerous.

• Cremation costs much less than a traditional burial does.

• Some people are motivated by the environmental impact of burial, and believe cremation lessons the human “footprint” on the earth.

• Others simply feel that having their ashes spread in an ocean or dispersed in a forest is a more fitting way to end their life than to be entombed in a traditional cemetery.

I’m not here to tell you how you should feel. My job is to simply let you know what your options are. I also want you to know that there is nothing wrong with considering cremation – and there are rabbis out there who will support your decision!

Step Three: Contact an Officiant to Oversee the Memorial Service

The first place people turn when looking for a Jewish lifecycle officiant is to a congregational rabbi with whom they have some prior relationship. That’s a great idea and a great place to start.

Ask friends or neighbors if they can recommend a rabbi. Many rabbis work outside of congregations these days – as hospital chaplains, in nursing homes, at university Hillels. Ask around and see if you can get any referrals.

Or, turn to Google. That might very well be how you just found me and how you found this blog post. You can contact me at joysa@aol.com as well as 267-902-7752 to discuss your needs.

 


In honor of several friends who have lost loved ones this week, and another friend honoring a yahrzeit, I wanted to offer this excerpt from a book I’m reading called Readings for Rememberance: A Collection For Funerals and Memorial Services, selected and with an introduction by Eleanor Munro.

One unique aspect of Judaism I have always loved is its open embrace of mourning. Death is a deeply painful event, and Judaism isn’t shy about acknowledging and embracing this pain.

Death is also an event that reminds us of the value and importance of everything we do here on earth. Here is what the famous Jewish theologian, Martin Buber, had to say in the mid-1900s:

Some religions do not regard our sojourn on earth as true life. They either teach that everything appearing to us here is mere appearance, behind which we should penetrate, or that it is only a forecourt of the true world, a forecourt which we should cross without paying much attention to it. Judaism, on the contrary, teaches that what a man does now and here with holy intent is no less important, no less true — being a terrestrial indeed, but none the less factual, link with divine being — than the life in the world to come. This doctrine has found its fullest expression in Hasidism.

Rabbi Hanokh said: “The other nations too believe that there are two worlds. They too say: ‘In the other world.’ There difference is this: They think that the two are separate and severed, but Israel professes that the two worlds are essentially one and shall in fact become one.”

In their true essence, the two worlds are one. They only have, as it were, moved apart. But they shall again become one, as they are in the their true essence. Man was created for the purpose of unifying the two worlds. He contributes toward this unity by holy living, in relationship to the world in which he has been set, at the place on which he stands.

– Martin Buber, from “Here Where One Stands” in The Way of Man

*****

As a fourth-year rabbinical student, I offer Jewish or Secular Humanist funeral rituals (as well as tombstone unveilings in the Jewish tradition) in Mainline Philadelphia and surrounding areas.  Email joysa@aol.com for more information.